Right now I'm not feeling too happy-go-lucky I suppose, letting life get the best of me. I really get angry with myself when I do this, because I know I'm really just bringing it on myself. There's nothing (new) in my life that is particularly overwhelming or stressful, I'm just letting my mind pick up on the negativity and run like mad with it. I need to just slap myself, so to speak, and bring me back to my senses.
Wednesday me and Alan were at eachothers throats. I love him like a brother but sometimes I could just kick him in the head. Now, he has occasionally gotten underneath my skin previous to then, but this was just.. over the top. Finally I shouted at him.. which makes me uncomfortable, because few people have ever made me really "lose my cool." I'm usually deliberate and sensible in arguments, but I went off the top with this one. I shouted at him and told him to shut up, quit being an arrogant jerk and get out of my face. He shouted back, which surprised me even more, becaus eI've never seen him lose his cool either. He said something about the problem not being with him, for me to quit being immature and somethign else. I probably forgot on purpose. Anyhow.. he really got under my skin on Wednesday. I don't know why. But apprently I got under his as well..
I miss you.